Devilishly Short #1 Read online

  He grinned. “I like to know where you are since, thanks to your mom, you’re genetically predisposed to being part of disasters.”

  I punched him in the shoulder. He laughed. “I’d like to know why someone thought grocery shopping meant I was doing something illicit.”

  He lifted his hand and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Probably because you’re the poster child for naughty in Branson Falls.” He leaned in, whispering in my ear, “I like that reputation.”

  I inhaled a rattled breath. “I’m sure you do. You’re part of the reason I have it.”

  His brow cocked, in what looked like part amusement, part pride. “Really,” he said, his eyes going over the contents of my cart, “I think it was probably all of the blankets you’ve got, and the rolls of aluminum foil and snack food.”

  I was totally annoyed. “I can’t even go to the store without having my whereabouts and cart items broadcast to the whole town! I’d like to go back to the days without internet and smart phones when people still had a little bit of privacy.”

  “Good luck with that.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled.

  “So, what are the camping supplies really for?”

  I stared at him for a minute. “How do you know they aren’t for a date?”

  His lips slid into a slow smile. “Because I’m right here, and you didn’t ask me.”

  I snorted a laugh. “You’re full of yourself.”

  “You could be, too.”

  I blushed at that, and then quickly changed the subject. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

  He eyed me with interest. “Try me.”

  I widened my eyes, unsure how Hawke would respond. Hawke was the type of man who dealt in facts. UFOs didn’t fit in a fact box. At all. “I’m going to investigate a possible UFO.”

  He held my gaze, no doubt assessing my level of insanity, and tilted his head. “A UFO you saw?”

  “No. But there were witnesses.”

  “Who?”

  I bit the corner of my lip, not really wanting to tell him my witnesses were two of the craziest people in town. “Well, Ella was one of them.”

  He grinned. “The sweet little old lady who volunteers at the Tribune and likes my butt?”

  I cringed as I thought about all the other parts Ella had also expressed interest in. “That’s the one.”

  “Who else?”

  I pushed the cart to the check-out line. “Want some chocolate?” I hedged. I really didn’t want to tell him my mom was part of this, too. “This bar has sea salt and almonds. It’s one of my favorites.”

  “Who’s your other UFO witness, Kitty Kate?”

  I made a low noise in my throat and mumbled the words, “My mom.”

  He gave a full-on laugh. “Ella and your mom are your witnesses? Are you sure they weren’t seeing something else?”

  I shook my head. “Oh, I’m sure they were seeing something else. But good luck convincing them of that. They made me come to the store for supplies while they wait for it to come back. They’re determined to have an alien encounter.” The store clerk ran my items through quickly and bagged them almost as fast. That was good for me because it gave everyone else at the store less time to inspect my purchases. Good thing I wasn’t buying condoms. I’d never hear the end of that—from people in town, or my mom. Now that Hawke was there with me, there would probably be an update on Facebook about me being sighted with him, followed by some pontificating about the various sins I was committing by spending time with him alone.

  “Where did they see it?”

  “At Simmons Fort.”

  “During the day?”

  “That’s what they said. It happened right before they helped a tourist get attacked by a rattlesnake.”

  “I heard about that on the police scanner. I should have known your mom was involved.”

  “My dad’s not going to be happy.”

  I pushed the cart to my Jeep and Hawke helped me load everything into the back. When he finished, he turned to me. “This sounds too interesting to pass up. Care if I tag along?”

  I wasn’t thrilled about him seeing my mom on one of her adventures again, but I wasn’t opposed to having someone with Hawke’s fighting skills and biceps around just in case an alien really did pop up. “Are you kidding? I’d love to have you there, but be warned, you’ll be surrounded by a bunch of women, and two of them are crazy.”

  Hawke gave a seductive smile. “I’m pretty good with women—of all kinds,” he said, catching his bottom lip with his teeth and making me think of the places I’d rather have him biting. “I’ll follow you there.”

  “Oh, good!” Ella said as Hawke and I walked up carrying the bags of supplies. “You’re here!” She stepped back and eyed Hawke up and down, taking in every sculpted curve. I couldn’t blame her; I looked at him the same way. “And you brought a hot backup. Good. We’ll probably need him to woo—or shoot the aliens, depending on whether they turn out to be lovers or fighters.”

  I rolled my eyes and gave Hawke a sidelong glance. “No one is wooing or shooting anything.”

  Hawke grinned. “I’m always up for wooing. And if there’s an alien, I’ll probably shoot it.”

  “Darn straight you will!” Ella said, “Because you know aliens can be scary.”

  I turned to Hawke. “That’s not very friendly of you. Haven’t you ever seen a sci-fi movie? Shooting it might start an intergalactic war.”

  “I’m pretty sure we could hold our own.”

  I narrowed my eyes, assessing him. I wasn’t sure exactly what Hawke did for a living; I just knew I’d been warned not to spend too much time with him because he was supposedly dangerous. I didn’t agree with that, but I knew Hawke had a lot of connections and information that the standard person wasn’t privy to. If he thought we could hold our own in a war with aliens, I wanted to know why. “You seem pretty sure of yourself. Do you know some government secrets about aliens or something?”

  He quirked a brow. “I have secrets about a lot of things, Kitty Kate.”

  “I just love that name,” Ella said with a huge smile. “Everyone should call her Kitty Kate. Cute as a button, but she’s got claws when she needs ‘em.”

  Hawke burst out laughing.

  Annie and my mom both said hi to Hawke as we came to the clearing where my mom, Ella, and Annie had set up their reconnaissance. It was a camping area with a dark brown painted picnic table on a concrete slab, and a fire pit. “Great. Cute with claws is not really the reputation I want to have.” Hawke and I put the grocery bags down, and everyone helped empty them.

  “Better than some of your other reputations,” Ella pointed out.

  “Speaking of that,” my mom said. “I saw a Facebook update about you and Hawke, Kate.” She leaned in, lowering her voice—something she did often when she thought any of The Ladies (a group of women who made it their mission to gossip and had taken a particular interest in making my life miserable) might be around gathering intel. “There’s speculation you were buying protection.”

  My mouth gaped. “If by “protection,” you mean aluminum foil to block the aliens from stealing Ella’s brain, then yes, that’s exactly what I was doing.”

  Ella bit into a fun size candy bar. “I think they meant you were buyin’ condoms,” she said, helpfully. “Don’t worry, I commented back and told them what dummies they were and that if you were with Hawke, he’d already have plenty.”

  I slapped my palm to my forehead and closed my eyes, breathing out a deep sigh. “Why am I always the target of these dumb rumors, and not the guys I’m with?”

  “Because everyone respects Drake, and they’re terrified of Hawke,” Ella answered. “You’re easiest to pick on. Besides,” Ella said, her eyes sliding quickly to my mom before going back to the supplies she was inventorying. “It’s better than some people’s reputations.”

  “You got the good chocolate!” Annie exclaimed, pulling out the bar with sea salt and almonds that I’d used
to try to distract Hawke from his line of questioning at the store.

  My mom glanced at Hawke. “Is it European chocolate?” she asked, a hopeful note in her tone. “Their chocolate is so much better.”

  I stared at her for several seconds. “You realize we’re in Branson Falls, Utah, right? Where do you think I’d get European chocolate from?”

  She shrugged. “Well, you have Hawke with you. I thought maybe he brought some.”

  I laughed at my mom’s silly statement. “Because Hawke goes to Europe just to get chocolate.”

  Hawke gave my mom an adoring smile. “Not this time, Sophie. I just saw Kate at the store and couldn’t pass up the chance to see a UFO.”

  My eyes went wide. “You bring my mom chocolate from Europe?” My gaze went back and forth between the two of them. “How long has this been happening? And why haven’t you brought me any?”

  They both looked at each other like they’d been caught doing something they shouldn’t. “He just stops by sometimes,” my mom said. “I make him cookies, he brings me chocolate, and we chat. Sometimes he works on the Mustang with your dad.”

  My mouth dropped. The thought of Hawke hanging out at my mom and dad’s house and chatting seemed too odd to even process. How had this escaped my notice? Speculation about my grocery cart items had apparently just gone viral. Surely, I would have heard about Hawke hanging out at my parents’ house from someone. I knew The Ladies still had me under surveillance. I turned to Hawke. “I had no idea you were so close to my family.”

  He grinned. “I like your parents…almost as much as I like you, but in a different way.”

  I cocked a brow. “I hope so.” If he was throwing the same sexual references at my mom and dad that he gave me, it would be awfully awkward. Then again, he did love classic Ford Mustangs, and owned a super sexy one, so my dad would probably forgive him anything. And clearly, my mom was easily bribed with chocolate.

  “So, what’s the plan?” I asked. “Are we in the right spot for alien watching?”

  “Yep,” Ella said.

  “This is where you saw the UFO?” I asked, looking around. The area was enclosed by a lot of trees. “Where exactly did you see it?”

  Ella pointed toward a slight clearing in the trees that offered a vantage point to the mountains behind it. “The UFO came up over there, then dipped below the trees before it came back up again.” Ella shuddered like she was afraid. She finished organizing the supplies and went straight for the foil.

  “How close did it get to you?” I asked.

  “It stayed right there,” my mom pointed. “It just hovered.”

  “So it didn’t even come toward you? It just went up and fell back down?”

  My mom looked put out. “Yes! Twice!”

  I narrowed my eyes in a dubious stare and silently wondered if my mom had been drinking.

  My mom noticed my look. “Don’t you give me that look, Kate. I did not make this up. I know what I saw. It went up, down, and back up.”

  “We’re darn lucky it didn’t come closer,” Ella said, tearing off long pieces of aluminum foil. “We might have been probed!”

  “I’m not interested in being probed,” my mom said.

  “Amen to that,” Ella murmured, wrapping the foil around her head in a crinkly little hat.

  “You look ridiculous,” I said.

  She handed the foil to my mom, who immediately started making a foil turban of her own. “It might look dumb, but we’re not gonna be the ones with stolen minds,” Ella said.

  Hawke laughed and shook his head as he walked away to inspect the area. I watched as he surveyed every aspect of the campsite; not even the slightest detail would escape his notice. I was pretty happy he decided to tag along. Of all the people I knew, he was the one I was most comfortable running into an alien with. Plus, his investigative skills were damn impressive. We had a much higher chance of figuring out what Ella and my mom had actually seen with Hawke along.

  I watched as my mom opened a bag of tortilla chips and some dip. I’d also grabbed a vegetable tray so I could make myself feel less guilty about all the other crap I was planning to eat. It didn’t mean I’d eat the vegetables, but they were there, and that’s what mattered. Plus, I knew Hawke would probably eat them, so they wouldn’t go to waste.

  My mom and Ella sat down at the table, facing the UFO sighting spot. Annie sat next to them. I put my camera on the table and sat down across from them.

  My mom wrinkled her nose as I brought out the warm tamales I’d grabbed from the deli. “I don’t know how anyone eats those things.”

  “Tamales,” I said, handing her one. “They’re good!” She immediately pushed it away. “No thank you. I got some at the store one night and made them for dinner. They were awful! I don’t know why they’re such a popular food. I threw mine out. Corn husks,” she shook her head in disgust, “what a dumb thing to make a meal from.”

  I froze, my tamale half unwrapped. Annie stopped with hers half-way to her mouth and stared. Hawke burst out laughing. “Did you eat the tamale with the husk on?” I asked, completely stunned.

  She looked at me like I’d grown three heads. “Well, of course I did!” She said, her tone affronted. “It came that way. How else was I supposed to eat it?”

  “You take the husk off! The husk is just used to let the steam penetrate and cook the tamale. No wonder you hated it. Here,” I said, handing her another tamale.

  She eyed it warily.

  “Take the husk off, and try it.”

  She did as I said, her eyes still narrowed skeptically. When she finally took a bite, her expression brightened with surprise. “Oh!” she said, chewing the food, “that’s so much better!”

  “Didn’t dad tell you how to eat them?”

  “He wasn’t home. And after I tried them, I certainly wasn’t going to serve them to anyone else. Now I’ll have to get more from the store. He’ll like these a lot!”

  I shook my head again and silently wondered if my dad should install a nanny cam at the house to find out what my mom was up to. It made me nervous she spent so much of her time unsupervised.

  Ella took a bite of her unhusked tamale. “Did you hear Bonnie Bright was caught buyin’ coffee flavored ice cream last week?” She tsked her tongue. “Everyone knows if you wanna do that, you have to get it from out of town—like condoms.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I buy coffee flavored ice cream in Branson.”

  “But everyone already knows you’re a sinner, Kate, so it’s not as big of a deal. Bonnie goes to church!”

  Most people in Branson were members of the Mormon Church and weren’t allowed to do a plethora of fun things, including drinking coffee. I’d gotten in trouble for it several times, even though I was no longer a member of the church.

  “We’re supposed to avoid the appearance of evil. Coffee flavored ice cream’s like takin’ out an ad that you want to be called into your bishop’s office and get a talkin’ to.”

  And no Mormon wanted that. I remembered being called in when I was younger. I was quite the troublemaker. When I left for college, my bishop’s schedule became a lot less hectic.

  “If people are that upset about someone buying coffee flavored ice cream, they’re going to be really mad when the new coffee house opens next month,” I said.

  Ella nodded. “The Ladies are already planning a protest.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Why?”

  “Everyone’s worried about how sexy the coffee makes sinnin’ look. Parents are worried their kids will stop to get hot chocolate from the coffee house and it will turn into a gateway drink to coffee. I don’t think it’ll stay in business long.”

  “Well, I can’t wait to try it,” I said.

  “Me, either,” Annie agreed.

  “Ooooo, don’t let your bishop hear that,” Ella warned. “And make sure you go during hours that most of The Ladies are busy.”

  “We should go together,” I said to Annie. “That probably won’t help your rep
utation, but meeting friends for coffee is one of the things I really miss about living in a bigger city.”

  My mom’s phone started ringing to the tune of “I’m Too Sexy.” My eyes darted toward her and the noise and I started to laugh with everyone else. “That’s a new ringtone,” I pointed out.

  “I know!” she said, her voice excited. “I got one of those fancy iPhones and I just love it!” She pulled out her phone and silenced the ringing as we all stared at the case. It had a hot pink cover with the word “juicy” written on it in silver glitter. “That’s an interesting cover,” I said.

  She turned it over and looked at it. “I know! Isn’t it cute?”

  Annie snorted and Hawke grinned. “It would be if you were pledging a sorority.”

  She arched her head defiantly. “Age isn’t a number, it’s how old you feel. Besides, this was the only pretty cover they had.”

  “It might not attract the best attention.” I said. “Maybe you should make your own cover so it’s exactly what you want.”

  “I can do that? You’ll have to show my how.”

  “I bet you could ask your phone and it would tell you.”

  “That’s a great idea! I love Cyrus. She answers all my questions!”

  “Cyrus?”

  “Yeah! I say, ‘Cyrus, tell me when to plant my pansies.’ She answers right away with everything I need to know.”

  “Ooooh,” I said, nodding. “You mean Siri.”

  “Si-what?”

  “Siri. That’s the name of the voice answering your questions.”

  “Don’t be silly. The person in my phone is Cyrus. She wouldn’t answer if that wasn’t her name. Watch.”

  “Cyrus, how do I make an iPhone cover?”

  The robotic voice of Siri answered back: Let me check on that. This is what I found on the web.

  “See!” my mom said, waving her phone. “Cyrus answers me every time.”

  I sighed and put my head on the table. “Her name actually is Siri, Sophie,” Annie said. “I have one, too.”

  My mom stared at Annie. “Maybe yours just has a different name. I bet the phones all come with a different one. It wouldn’t be nice to call them all the same thing.” She rubbed something off the screen. “I’ve heard you can change it to a male voice and get him to talk in an English accent. That’s my next goal.”